i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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