if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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