So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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