it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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