God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
