Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
