Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need water and some morals
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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