hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
