i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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