Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
