I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I believe in your delicious
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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