We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
