Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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