Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no. you can't hotbox the world.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize