I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
