Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
