I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
