Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I could fuck to npr.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
