recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
