So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
