Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
