I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
this just has baby written all over it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
