in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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