I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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