He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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