I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dicks are not precious.
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