kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just invented taco cereal.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
