there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
