i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
