i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
