Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize