I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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