I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
