Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
