you guys were way drunker than both of me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
