I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
