so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
