so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize