watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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