just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
