this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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