I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
