If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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