I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
