Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
