I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
