I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
