Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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