in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
