She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
