i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
