Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
