if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
