brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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