Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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