So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize