My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
