My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
