I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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