Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
