I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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