.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
