Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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