TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
