we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
