just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
