between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
