I'm drive I can fine osifer
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
