we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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