no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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