i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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