OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
