His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize