Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
