i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
