Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd give my left nut to see you

(609): View more from New Jersey

don't do that. I like the set

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(479): View more from Arkansas

even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

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(804): View more from Virginia

At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.

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