is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
