The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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