Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
