I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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