I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
