Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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