How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
