you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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