i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
