please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
